Grace
When I was in my twenties, before I had children, I taught parenting classes to folks who had teenaged children. One wise day, I realized that perhaps I should not teach such classes and give advice because I did not share the lived experience. Now, after spending my entire career working with adolescents and young adults and raising my own two children, my children have become my teachers.
One of the philosophies of mind-body medicine is that we are our own “wise guides” and healers. Both of my children have grown to embody this philosophy before my eyes. My daughter, Sydney, who is 24 is a successful fitness and yoga instructor and a rising YouTuber who vlogs about her struggles both in adolescence and now with depression and anxiety. I have watched her rebuild her life and create a “brand” that exudes positivity and health. I have attended her fitness classes to witness first hand that she knows the name of each of the 50 people in her sold out classes. After each class she stands outside and chats with each of them and fills them with encouragement. She has overcome so much in her young life, including horrific bullying for more than 10 years. She lives in the present of what is rather than what was. Finally, Sydney is one of my primary supporters who has encouraged me to pursue my business. She is the person who purchased the photo package as a Christmas gift two years ago that I use on my site (and here as the thumbnail). When she gave the package to me, along with an inspiring book, she pointed out that I have given so much to many and that now was my chance to shine. She wanted to help me see my own beauty and strengths.
I have written so much about Mason and his accident. We have all watched him persevere while others may have given up. He, too, has moved forward without looking back. When asked, he says he learned this from author Hal Elrod. He has watched his sister create the life she loves and move away from negativity and he is doing the same. I witness his determination and single-mindedness each day as he continues to spend hours doing physical therapy to get to his goal of walking functionally again.
One of the biggest lessons we have all taken away from this challenging year, and that Mason drives home, is that there is only so much of each of us to go around. He has become the master of managing his time and energy. We have all taken actions to invest our energy and strengths where they are needed most. For example, after 11 years as an EMS volunteer in our local fire department, I retired. I found this a hard decision to make because the role had become part of my identity. Additionally, I stepped down as an administrator in one unit and then reduced my work hours to four days per week. Tomorrow I will begin a 75% position in a new college as an advisor. I am excited for the new chapter, though leaving my role with fine arts faculty, staff, and students was a tough decision because the arts are so much a part of my values and orientation. I look forward to reimagining my role at the University of Minnesota Duluth while working in the College of Education and Human Services. My heart, my values, and my strengths all align with the college mission and vision of social justice and helping professions! I will also continue my work with Gallup (CliftonStrengths) Coaching as I work with undeclared students.
I am filled with gratitude for my children Mason and Sydney. I marvel at their ability to seek the lives they desire unabashedly and without apology but with generosity and compassion toward others. I am honored to be their mother. At times, I still struggle with letting them go and allowing them to be who they are, how they are. Like all of us, they are their own best teachers. When I am quiet and observing instead of “advice giving” and judging, I am open to their teachings. We are all a work in progress and these challenging years remind us that we must have grace for one another and for ourselves.